Please submit in writing at least 2 weeks prior...

There are certain things I check every time I hop on the internet.

I always make a point of seeing how my whatifsports.com teams are doing.

I always check The O-Zone to find out what horrific new scandal I'm missing out on at my alma mater, now that I live a couple hundred miles away.

And I always, ALWAYS see if Bill Simmons has written anything new.

Just about a month ago, he announced that he was leaving his job with Assface Kimmel Live to focus on writing for the website.

"Great," I thought. "This will mean more columns."

Then, a few weeks later, he simply vanished. Not a word why, just no columns. I kept reloading "Page 2" hoping for something, only to get a face full of "The Daily Quickie", Eric Neel, and Cold Pizza's list of the Top 25 worst all-time morning TV sports talk shows.

Then, suddenly, Bill was back. But he was writing about a trip to Italy, not sports.

Was this trip not planned? Did you get kidnapped and taken overseas? If not, why the hell not prepare people? I could have held off on reading one of the columns and saved it for the middle of that week when I really needed a fix.

As you've probably figured out already, as usual, I don't really have a point to this post. Okay, bye.

Fin.