The D is dumb...

This is "Woodward Dream Cruise" weekend here in Detroit. If you're not from southeast Michigan and/or don't value your car more highly than the lives of individual family members, you probably don't have any idea what that means. But it's a big freakin' deal here.

Basically, tens of thousands of people bring their classic cars to "cruise" up and down Woodward Avenue, from Detroit to Pontiac. This is such an exciting event that about a million people show up just to watch it.

In the end, however, this basically boils down to people bringing their expensive toys (in some cases SHIPPING them from other continents) to come sit in a traffic jam all weekend, while a bunch of slack-jawed yokels pretend they know what a "hemi" is.

This passes for not only entertainment.. but a MAJOR annual event here in Detroit. For people here, it's at least on par with the Rose Bowl parade, or Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade in New York.

I'd love to write more, but I'm going outside right now to re-wax and buff my '97 Ford Contour with a diaper, so it's shining perfectly when I go cruisin' tonight! Or I might just hit myself in the head with a tack hammer until I pass out. Either way.