I think we all saw this coming...

The Mets are apparently close to signing Pedro Martinez.

This is an absolutely brilliant move, assuming you want to pony up more than $50 million over four years to build your team around a starting pitcher who could barely go six innings last year, and who is aging more rapidly than Kathleen Turner.

If it were me, I would have gone after Carl Pavano, who is five years younger, has a better arm at this point, and who signed for about $13 million less with the Yankees. But that's just me.

Knowing the Mets, the next logical step will be trying to acquire Sammy Sosa, who is 36, falling apart physically, and probably due for a Jason Giambi-like "diet" that will cause him to lose 30 pounds of muscle during the off-season. You know.. by cutting out fast food and stuff.

Because the "assemble the 1998 all-stars" theme worked so well two years ago (Mo Vaughn, Roberto Alomar, etc).

Then, my next step will be flying to New York, hopping the 7 train to Shea, and beating everyone in the front office to death with a Juan Samuel-model baseball bat.