Five minutes for ass-raping and a game misconduct.

Gary Bettman: You are a fucking bitch. I hope you get caught trying to pick up a 12 year old girl, and have to spend the rest of your life getting assraped by extraordinarily well-endowed men in prison.

Bob Goodenow: Same for you, cockbreath.

All you stupid motherfuckers had to do was give $3 million on each side and you got a deal. Then you hold a sham of a 2005 season, and come back fresh for a spectacular 2005-2006 revival.

Instead, now you stupid cocksuckers will spend the next seven months not negotiating, won't start next season on time (if at all) and will ruin this sport forever. Frankly, you've probably alienated 70% of your already shrinking fan base.

Good luck making money and getting million dollar contracts when there are 6,000 fans in the seats and the league folds six teams.

As it was, I was legitimately excited last night at the prospects of a deal. I was all ready to rush out and buy tickets for at least one, and maybe two games for the abbreviated regular season. And we all know that two months of incredibly exciting playoff hockey would fix damn near anything. But now it's not going to happen.

So fuck you all.