Super? Meh....

Over the last couple years, I've found it harder and harder to watch the Super Bowl on TV.

I still care about the game, but I just can't deal with all the horse shit hoopla surrounding the stupid thing.

Six-hour pregame show? The endless "countdown to kickoff" (team introduction/anthem/flyover/coin flip/etc)? The hype over the commercials? The cameras in the pylons, the hash mark, up Terrell Owens' ass? Two sideline reporters? Fuck all that noise.

If the NFL really knows its core audience, they'll launch a "Super Bowl for men" channel next year.

Just show the game like a normal regular season game. Give us regular announcers (not the A-team, which usually is much worse than a lot of the less-hyped groups around), no sideline reporters (who add absolutely nothing, ever), the regular camera angles (no spinning cameras on top of the field), no fucking Beatles during halftime (just show me the highlights and maybe give me some analysis) and just regular commercials. I want to be able to fast-forward through the commercials with my TiVo without having everyone around screaming at me.

I want to watch the game, not an endless parade of horseshit and hype. And I definitely don't need to hear some announcer blowing Terrell Owens "he's definitely making a difference already!" when he has two catches for 16 yards. I don't even need the announcers really-- just give me the stadium PA guy to tell me how long the last play was.

The only major TV development over the last 20 years that's meant a damn was the creation of the yellow first-down line. Everything else is meaningless.

Dear NFL, at least think about this.
Sincerely, Me.

Okay... one last thing. Have you enjoyed listening to people whine about Jacksonville sucked this week? How it was too chilly, there wasn't enough to do, and it was tough to get around? If so... you are going to LOVE next January.

The Super Bowl is in Detroit. That means you need to get ready for temperatures in the 20s (if it's in the 30s, it's raining), shitty pothole-riddled roads, a downtown that's deader than disco, almost NO downtown hotels, high crime rates, and a city that's nearly bankrupt.

The city promised the NFL to build thousands more hotel rooms. Right now, the projects are so far behind schedule, there's no way they'll get close to being finished.

This is going to be the Super Bowl catastrophe to end all other Super Bowl catastrophes.

Everyone here is talking about how this is going to be an event to make the city of Detroit sparkle in the national spotlight.

This is going to be a significant humiliation, even for a city that has made a 40-year habit of embarassing itself. Hell, the city's mayor didn't even show up for the official "handoff" ceremony from Jacksonville officials to Detroit officials this week.

When the NFL was in Detroit for the "Freedom Festival Fireworks" last summer, the city promised to show them how well they ran a major event. Then, some guy pulled out a gun and shot 9 people in the crowd. I swear to God, this actually happened. The cops arrested someone a day later... and it turned out months later that they just railroaded him (he was released later) to make themselves look good. The real shooter is still loose.

I mean... you have no idea how bad this is going to be.