You're my boy, Blue!

I've spent a lot of time on various college websites in recent weeks, and noticed a number of them have "testimonials" from current students, like this one from the University of Louisville.

Wouldn't it be great if they could actually say what they meant in those?

Why she chose U of L: Visited older friends at school, got 'faced at a frat party and made out with some girl. Kind of liked it.

The biggest surprise when she arrived on campus: I can drink an entire bottle of Jack Daniels in a 24-hour period without having to get my stomach pumped.

Advice for future students: If you're a good-looking girl, there's no situation (traffic stop, failing a class, espionage charges) you can't suck your way out of.

What she wishes someone had told her about college: What it meant to have guys "run a train" on you. Ouch. I was limping for a week.