Here come the pretzels....

Is there a more helpless feeling than watching your fantasy baseball team do a sloooow, agonizing fade, creep down the standings?

The last two years, I've finished as the runner-up in my league (a highly competitive group of 14 teams), and felt pretty good coming into this year as well.

I was actually doing pretty well for a while, but the wheels started coming off the wagon in May, and now I'm 5-6, two games back of the wildcard position.

Some of it has been bad luck (my opponents have scored the second-most points of any team, meaning that I've caught people on their good weeks). If I'd played every team every week, my record would be 72-48-1, which is fourth-best of any team.

But plenty of it has been the fact that key members of my team have shit down their legs all season long.

We got three keepers, then drafted the rest of our teams in March.

My keepers: Pedro Martinez (utterly brilliant all year long), Derek Jeter (solid contributor at a shallow position), and Carl Pavano (steaming pile).

1st round: Bartolo Colon, P (Very solid this year, but I keep waiting for his back to go out)
2nd round: Aubrey Huff, 3B (This one was universally lauded during the draft as a steal. Too bad he's sucked ass all year)
3rd round: Carl Crawford, OF (Decent year, but one of those guys who every expert says "you have to start every week, because he could go off at any time" but who hasn't.)
4th round: Mark Loretta, 2B (Decent start, now hurt and out until at least August)
5th round: Javy Lopez, C (Slow start, now hurt and out for months)
6th round: Octavio Dotel, P (Absolutely shelled for 2 months, now hurt)
7th round: Lyle Overbay, 1B (Extremely average all year)
8th round: Aaron Rowand, OF (The only guy on the White Sox who ISN'T having a huge year)
9th round: Zack Greinke, P (Having a decent year except for a few implosions, but with no run support he's now 1-8)
10th round: Travis Hafner, DH (Average for much of the season, with occasional explosions)
11th round: Francisco Cordero, P (Strong start, not much of anything recently)
12th round: Jeff Weaver, P (Wildly inconsistent. He throws a two-hitter one start, then gives up 8 runs in three innings the next time out)
13th round: Jose Reyes, SS/2B (Another pick applauded during the draft as an absolute steal, who's had a down year)
14th round: Eric Milton, P (Supposed to provide solid depth. 3-9 record, 7.82 ERA)
15th round: Torii Hunter, OF (The best pick in terms of value vs. round I made)
16th round: Odalis Perez, P (Decent start, then got hurt. Out for months)
17th round: Alex Rios, OF (Hasn't done much, since dropped)
18th round: Phil Nevin, 1B (Don't pick a power hitter who plays in an oversized ballpark. Ever.)
19th round: Brandon Inge, 3B/C/OF (Great value because he qualifies at catcher, but doesn't have to deal with that grind every day)
20th round: John Thomson, P (Traded for David Wright exactly 2 days before he suffered a season-ending injury)

I'm struck by three things:
1) Losing picks 4, 5, and 6 to injury absolutely kills you.
2) Having rounds 2, 7 and 8 (plus a keeper) fall well short of projections makes it worse. That's seven of my top 11 people who have not done what they're supposed to.
3) Listening to some moron break down his fantasy baseball team in such excruciating detail is one of the least interesting things you can possibly come across. Ever.