What if God was one of us?

You'll have to excuse the Joan Osborne reference (WTF?) in the title.

I've just been preoccupied wondering how God was able to create the universe in six days when He couldn't even beat out Chris Rix for the full-time starting QB job at Florida State or manage a better-than 1:1 ratio of touchdowns to interceptions last year.

According to the article, "has been very stressed out the past week over him being the starting quarterback in football for FSU."

What are the expectations too high these days? You're following Chris Fucking Rix (3 TD, 7 INT last year), for God's... umm... Your sake.

Win nine games, lose to Miami (preferably because your senile coach refuses to recruit a competent kicker... dadgummit) and you're upholding Seminole tradition just fine. What kind of pressure is that?

You know who should be feeling pressure? The Maryland player in this picture:

If you sack God, you know you're going to hell.