Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Wanna tie me up with your pink slip, Ty?

Wow. No sooner do I go off about one coach getting canned (well, sort of) than another one drops.

First, it's obvious that Urban Meyer will be the next head guy at Notre Dame. I think we all know that, and I would be stunned if it's anyone else. I think the Irish probably cut Tyrone Willingham loose one year earlier than they normally would have, simply because Meyer is such a hot commodity at the moment and they can't be sure he'll be free this time next year.

That being said, I think it's a bad hire for Notre Dame. If he flops, he flops and the program stays mired in mediocrity. If he succeeds, he'll be in the NFL after two years, based on his rather nomadic history. And we all know how that will turn out (see post from eight hours ago) for him. Then, the Irish have to go through this whole thing over again, under their fourth (or fifth, counting George O'Leary) in less than a decade.

This is, however, good news for OSU fans, who won't have to deal with the thought of Meyer coaching in Ann Arbor.

For the record, I think he'll do an okay job, probably getting the Irish back to a 10-win level, but probably won't win a national championship.

Booch gets the boot

See ya, Booch.

At some point, you'd think that pro teams (in all sports) would realize that hiring college coaches is not a good idea.

Steve Spurrier, Butchie Boy, Tim Floyd, Rick Pitino, Lon Kruger and countless others have proved that there's a huge leap from campus to the pros.

Meanwhile, guys like Al Groh and Pete Carroll, who basically got run out of the NFL on a rail are now successful in the college ranks.

But I would be willing to bet that some pro team will make a run at Kirk Ferentz or Urban Meyer or someone similar this year. And I would bet that Mike Montgomery will spend the next six months desperately wishing he was back at Stanford.

And I would also be willing to bet that Booch will make a hell of a college coach in Gainesville (or somewhere similar) in the next year or so.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

I didn't see this coming.

It may stun you to learn that Lloyd Carr is upset about something that happened Saturday.

I mean... he's upset about something after a loss? Really? Has that ever happened before?

This is a prime example of crying wolf about three too many times. Maybe this is something worth talking about, maybe not. But it's automatically going to get filed under "Lloyd being a whiny bitch again" because of his history.

The clock operator screwed us.
The refs screwed us.
The guys that made the conference schedule screwed us.
The crown of the field was too high.
The crowd was too loud and we couldn't change plays at the line of scrimmage.

Maybe if you stopped being such a bitch all the time and tried to figure out why you keep losing these big games to Notre Dame and Ohio State, you wouldn't need to spend so much time thinking up all these complaints.

Maybe if you weren't a retard and complete ditched your normally reliable running game in favor of a "deer in headlights" freshman quarterback.

Maybe if your watched two seconds of film and realized "maybe kicking the ball to the most electric player in college football is a bad idea."

Maybe if your offensive coaches made adjustments some time after the first 10 minutes of the game, you could have scored more than one more fluke touchdown against a mediocre defense.

Maybe if your defensive coaches made adjustments some time after August you would have stopped a running quarterback once this year.

And then, maybe, you wouldn't be 1-3 against Jim Tressel.

More bad news for Michigan; they're probably going to want the players and coaches to go through security at the airport on the way to the Rose Bowl.

Maybe that explains Michigan's wonderful record out there.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Does this mean they have to fold the team?

David Stern just laid down the law.

I think it's safe to say that anyone who bet the "over" on Indiana's season win total can pretty much kiss that money goodbye.

Okay... back to your regularly scheduled (i.e. Buckeye) programming.

Post number two of 436 on this subject...

Caption contest time!

Too slow, Shazor!

All-American, eh?

I'm about to make you look bad...

... and both of you are about to wish you were never born.

A picture's worth a thousand words.

All-American, eh? Part deux.


Good times.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

This is some crazy shit.

While researching some stuff earlier this week, I was astounded at some of the stuff I discovered.

For example: who's leading the ACC right now? Virginia, Florida State, or Miami?

The answer: None of the above. It's actually Virginia Tech, who own a 4-1 conference mark and control their own destiny to take the conference outright.

Also, who's leading the Big XII North Division?

Would you believe it's Iowa State, at 3-3?

Multiple choice time: Syracuse still has a realistic chance to A) Win the Big East B) Miss a bowl game.

The answer is C-- all of the above. They're 3-2 in the league, just a game off the pace, but only 5-5 overall. They need a win over BC in their finale to make the postseason, but that could also give them a share of the conference title if West Virginia loses to Pitt.

Finally, if Michigan and Wisconsin both lose on Saturday, who would claim a share of the Big Ten championship?

Would you believe it's Iowa? The team that's been playing its fifth-string tailback for the last half of the season is just one win and a Buckeye upset away from claiming a share of the conference crown.

That is some wild and crazy shit right there.

By the way, there's only 62 hours and 32 minutes 'til kickoff of OSU and you know who.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

It. Is. On.

5 days, 19 hours and 45 minutes from now, it's kickoff time.

That's just 139.75 hours or 8,325 minutes.

Not that I'm counting.

Friday, November 12, 2004


1) Do I think that there is at least some element of truth to Clarett's allegations? Yes.

2) Do I think players got money from boosters? Yes.

3) Do I think that happens at a lot of other top football or basketball schools? No. I think it happens at all other top football and basketball schools. And some not top ones, too.

4) Do I think that Jim Tressel actually called a car dealership himself and knowingly set up a free car for Clarett? No. He's much smarter than that. If it happened, he had a graduate assistant do it.

5) Do I think ESPN can prove any of the serious things they allege in the articles? No.

6) Do you think that there's any reason to consider any of the primary sources on this (Clarett, Sammy Maldonado, and Marco Cooper) particularly reliable? Ummm... let's see... you have a pathological liar who left the school on bad terms, a cokehead who left the school on bad terms, and a thug who got busted with drugs and a gun... who left the school on bad terms. No reason to question their motives. Interestingly, in the article where they were blowing Maldonado, I didn't see them mention anywhere about how he failed a drug test during his time in Maryland. Also, maybe the fact that he's a retard who had to take remedial classes when he got to OSU... maybe THAT had something to do with his credits not transferring.

7) So, given the fact that the sources are all highly dubious and ESPN likely can't prove any of their allegations (either because they're not true, or because OSU wasn't stupid enough to leave a paper trail), should they have published the story? Probably not.

8) Should they have turned this into the orgy of multimedia (magazine, website, TV) that it has become? Absolutely not.

9) Should OSU self-impose a one-year death penalty on the athletic department, as a CNNSI columnist has suggested? Yes. Absolutely. Based on this uncorroborated word of pathological liars and druggies, all of whom have an ax to grind with OSU. Ya know what? Let's make it two... no... THREE years. Because this is far worse than anything SMU did.

10) Is OSU going to get spanked by the NCAA? Probably not. Supposedly, a lot of this stuff was already investigated, and cleared. I don't expect anything new to come out of this, other than a world of shit flowing out of the mouths of Purdue fans this weekend.

To sum up: Yes, OSU cheats. No, it's not worse than any other comperable program. No, ESPN can't prove it. No, they shouldn't have run this story. No, it won't cost the school its championship. Yes, it will go away.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

How'd you get it out of your parents' basement?

This is pretty cool... well... you know... relative to the other stuff you could spend two years doing with Legos.

I guess it makes my OSU-fandom (and millions of others like me) seem downright normal. So it's all good.

And I promise to address the Clarett thing at some point. It's been a busy week, but maybe later tonight. Maybe.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

He's baaaaaaack!

This should be interesting.

I'm going to hold off on commenting until after the entire thing comes out, except to say that all three of the guys mentioned at the center of this would seemingly have an ax to grind with the school. Also, if Clarett's smart, he won't ever come back to Columbus.

Monday, November 08, 2004


Thursday, November 04, 2004

I'm tired and can't think of a title.

Was anyone else expecting Bush's victory speech to turn out to be an exact copy of Sideshow Bob's victory speech, right down to the maniacal laughter?

I was a little disappointed that it wasn't. I was also disappointed to watch Kerry's "sorry I suck too much to unseat Monkeyface" speech and not hear him quote liberally from Ray Patterson's concession speech. "You're screwed, thank you, bye."

When will our corrupt politicians learn that the only way to win my support is to bring the Simpsons into the campaign?

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

U-S-A! U-S-A!

Like millions of other Americans, I headed to the polls this morning and actually chose one of those assholes to be the next president.

Is it bad that after 18 months of campaigning, three debates, and hundreds of millions of dollars in advertisements, I ended up deciding who to vote for by figuring out which one made me want to punch them in the face slightly... slightly less?

I've talked about this before (not necessarily here), but I wish there was a "none of the above" option on the ballot. If "none of the above" got more votes than the other two assholes, both parties would have two weeks or a month to go back and try to pick someone a little less loathesome. Off the top of my head, I can think of at least 3-5 people from each party who I'd rather vote for than either of these guys.

I realize it would just be a logistical nightmare, but in the long run, we'd probably be much better off.

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