Nail on the head, and then some...

The always-entertaining folks over at EDSBS absolutely unload on ESPN, hitting most of my hot-button issues and making me laugh out loud on about a half-dozen occasions. I almost wet myself laughing at #17.

Absolutely, utterly brilliant.

WTF?

Arlen Specter is thinking about referring the Terrell Owens situation to the Senate Judiciary Committee.

In the history of government people doing and saying stupid shit that unquestionably proves that their heads are squarely up their asses, this ranks pretty high on the list.

How about we figure out how we managed to invade a country because of weapons they didn't have, and managed to get 2,000 (and counting) kids killed. How about that, jackass?

Fuck.

Dear Jay Feely,
Go fist yourself.
Kthnx.

A Buckeye's Prayer

Dear God,
Please let Florida State win the ACC championship game next weekend and advance to the BCS.

And please send them to the Orange Bowl to play Ohio State.

Because based on everything I've seen, the Buckeyes would absolutely sodomize the 'Noles, and we still owe those motherfuckers from the '98 Sugar Bowl.

Amen.

Genius in action.

1000 words.

25-21

Even the kittens can't beat Jim Tressel.

Not dead, just busy...

I'll return to a more regular schedule in a week or two.

A November to remember

With only two weeks of Big Ten football left, five different teams still have a chance to win at least a piece of the Big Ten championship. Here's what needs to happen for each team to win a share of the conference title, to lock up the automatic BCS berth, and to win the conference title outright. (I'm pretty sure this is right-- I went off the Big Ten tie-breaker rules from a 2004 media guide, but I don't believe they changed this off-season. If I goofed something up, let me know and I'll look into it.)

Penn State
Win a share of the conference title and BCS berth
1) Win at Michigan State.

Win the conference outright
1) Win at Michigan State.
2) OSU loses vs. Northwestern or at Michigan


Ohio State
Win a share of the title
1) Win vs. Northwestern and at Michigan.

Win the conference outright and the BCS berth
1) Win vs. Northwestern and at Michigan.
2) Penn State loses at Michigan State.


Northwestern
Win a share of the title
1) Win at Ohio State and vs. Illinois.
2) Penn State loses at Michigan State

Can not win the conference outright or earn the BCS berth.


Michigan
Win a share of the title
1) Win vs. Indiana and vs. Ohio State.
2) Penn State loses at Michigan State.

Can not win the conference outright

Win the BCS berth
1) Win vs. Indiana and vs. Ohio State.
2) Penn State loses at Michigan State.
3) Wisconsin loses vs. Iowa.

--If OSU beats Northwestern, this would leave OSU, PSU and UM all at 6-2. PSU and UM would both have beaten OSU, eliminating them from the tie-breaker. Then it goes to head-to-head, which goes to Michigan.

--If Northwestern beats OSU, this would leave NU, PSU and UM all at 6-2. PSU and UM both beat NU, eliminating them from the tie-breaker. Then it goes to head-to-head, which goes to Michigan.


Wisconsin
Win a share of the title
1) Win vs. Iowa.
2) Ohio State loses vs. Northwestern or at Michigan.
3) Penn State loses at Michigan State.

Can not win the conference outright or earn the BCS berth.


Note: Iowa, Michigan State, Illinois, Indiana, Minnesota and Purdue have been eliminated from the conference race.

The race tightens...

The Buckeyes win a share of the Big Ten title if...

1) OSU beats Michigan State
2) OSU beats Indiana
3) OSU beats Minnesota
4) OSU beats Illinois
5) OSU beats Northwestern
6) OSU beats Michigan

The Buckeyes earn the automatic BCS berth with 1-6 plus...
7) Penn State loses to Michigan
8) Penn State loses to MSU
9) Wisconsin loses to PSU

The Buckeyes win the Big Ten outright with 1-9 plus...
10) Iowa loses to Michigan OR N'western OR Wisconsin OR Minnesota

Deeply disturbing...

I just awoke from a remarkably vivid dream.

In it, I was live-blogging this year's OSU/Michigan game while sitting in the stands at Michigan Stadium with Tony (apparently I'm going to buy a laptop with wireless connectivity in the next three weeks. Sweet!).

It just seemed so real, because I woke up completely outraged over several brutal calls that went against OSU, and Tony was pissing me off by saying stuff like, "Yeah, too bad that inadvertant whistle wiped out the interception return for a touchdown, but they called a false start on Michigan three quarters ago, so you can't really complain."

Also, for some reason Josh Huston left a 23-yard field goal short just before the half.

I think I need help.

Generalísimo Francisco Franco is still dead...

I'm officially tired of hearing about Rosa Parks.

She was a sweet old lady, and no one is trying to discount her impact (largely symbolic, but a clear impact nonetheless) on the Civil Rights movement. That one day made her a part of American history, and set in motion a course of events that changed the lives of millions of Americans for the better.

But enough already. She's been dead for more than a week, and I'm getting really tired of the endless parade of tributes and speeches in her honor, which have been made with varying degrees of sincerity and emotion. At this point, the people who wanted to cry and mourn for her have done so.

Even many of her friends and relatives have said that given how low-key and humble she was, that this week or so would have embarassed her.

That of course raises the issue of just who we're doing all this for.

And the fact that Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and a long line of politicians (including the mayor of Detroit, who is running for reelection in a week) are in line to speak at her funeral-- all probably saying some variation of the same six comments and stories we've heard all week-- is probably all the answer we'll even need for that question.